The Party's Over, Honey

As he hit 19 minutes on the Stairmaster, Sean saw Roy walking along the alley, on the other side of the windows at Thomas Circle Sports Club, heading for the entrance.

Right on time.

A moment later, Roy was standing next to him, still in his coat, pulling off his hat. He was a little pale.

"Hey..." (Sean)

"Hi."

"You're right on time."

"Yeah..." (Roy looked down at his feet.) "I'll go hang up my coat and meet you upstairs."

Sean hopped off the machine about ten seconds after Roy darted into the stairwell, and followed behind. Something was up.

*****

Ken walked out of the Mondrian and into the street. There were tears in his eyes. He didn't really know where he was going. It was cold that night. A really cold night. The first one of the year.

His coat wasn't heavy enough. He really should go back. He said it to himself twice as he bounded forward, his feet not listening to him. He was already rounding the corner and onto 13th Street. The BP station was flying by. Kevin's building across the street was all lit up as usual. Kevin was probably even there. He fumbled for his cell.

And then it hit him in a flash. The first unpleasant flash in a while. It was almost a year ago, he stood in the same spot, and was completely alone. In the cold. They were all inside somewhere, in all different buildings around him on that corner, in lit-up rooms or warm beds doing who knows what.

And Ken was out in the cold, calling Kevin's apartment.

"Hello...?"

"You're in D.C...."

"Ken?"

"Yeah, it's me. Um...how are you?"

"I'm fine, how are you doing? Haven't seen you guys for a while."

"Where were you last?"

"I was in Buenos Aires, actually. Got some rest after a long week in Brazil."

"Sounds good...listen, uh...Can I ask a favor?"

(Kevin took a slight pause, which Ken knew Kevin would take. It was a strange call. Ken never asked for favors. He knew how people thought of him.)

"Sure, if I can help..."

"Can I come up for a sec? I, uh.....I sorta need some...help."

(On the other end of the line, Kevin cringed for a moment. Would this be the moment that Ken showed yet again his life was just one downward spiral after another? Did he want money for drugs? Did he need to hide from some rough character out there looking for him? Would he be zonked out of his head? And immediately Kevin thought, where is Roy? What mess was brewing all this time that he'd been away and then out with his family for Thanksgiving? Is this the usual mess yet again, the one that would never end back here in Logan Circle?)

"Um, sure. Just let me finish something I'm working on...are you at home or...?"

"I'm outside."

(Oh boy, he's high...) "Uhh, okay. Come on up."

Kevin turned to his keyboard again, and looked up to register his frown in the webcam.

Kevin says:
im sorry i have to run

(He watched for Caetano's reaction.)

Caetano says:
porque??
Kevin says:
tenho amigo me esperando...
Caetano says:
:o( ....ok
Kevin says:
we'll talk later maybe, or tomorrow...?
Caetano says:
bom K. i will look for you tomorrow....like u big time.
Kevin says:
:-) OK! beijos!
Caetano says:
bju

(They waved to each other. Caetano was smiling. Then the MSN window closed.)

*****

"Wanna do shoulders and tri's or chest and bi's today?"

"Chest and bi's I guess," Roy answered.

"Boobs and bisexuals it is," Sean said, grinning, and turning towards the bench.

Roy didn't react.

Sean set up the weights for his own set, as Roy looked at his sheet to figure his out. It was only the second time they'd worked out together. Ken didn't go to Thomas Circle. He went to Results. Even though Results was far north of his apartment, and Thomas Circle gym was two blocks away. Kevin and Sean and everyone else went to Thomas Circle. Ken always had to go off on his own.

"Everything okay?" Sean asked as he laid down on the bench.

"Sort of," Roy said, getting into spotting position over him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, uh. I guess....I, um..." (Roy was looking around. It wasn't so busy there. Sean started his set, and Roy bent over a little like he was spotting him.) "I started the meds last week."

"O..h..?"

"Yeah."

"Five.....Si..x.....How you..doing?"

"Okay I, uh...guess."

"....Eight." (Roy lifted the bar off him and set it. They switched places.)

"You feel okay?"

"I feel...different." (Roy laid down on the bench.) "You know? Just.....not like before."

"How so?"

"It's hard to describe." (He put his hands on the bar, but wasn't lifting quite yet.) "Things are sometimes totally normal, then all of a sudden very different without any warning, you know?"

"Hmm."

"I talked to Madison about it the other day. She knew people in L.A. on the meds for a while. She said that when you find the right combination, you learn to live with it like wearing glasses or walking with a bum foot or something. I like her attitude."

"Yeah, she isn't what I'd call a negative person."

(Roy gripped the bar, and Sean lifted it onto his hands for him, showing some extra care.)

"Are things okay with Ken? Has he changed like you worried?"

(Roy was counting out until he reached eight. He did well.)

"They're the same. He's really withdrawn."

"We're in different work sites now, so I never see him anymore." (They switched places again.)

"Well, I can confess something," Roy said. "I did go into his laptop and rifle the cache for any clues about what he's been up to."

"Oh?" (Sean started his second set.)

"Yeah, but there was nothing in there. He hasn't been back on Manhunt like I suspected."

(Sean laughed a bit as he pushed the weights up and grunted.)

"But I don't know what is up with him still, and I'm going to talk to him about it tonight."

"Six....sev.en...ei.gh.t...." (They switched again. Sean was getting warmed up.) "What are you going to say?"

"Well....I guess that I can't really deal with the distance anymore. We don't even seem to connect during sex anymore, it's sort of like we are off in different places..." (Roy gripped the bar again, and Sean lifted it quickly onto his hands before he was ready.) "Ooff..."

Roy struggled with the first one, but no more than usual for a person working out. On the second one, he grimaced, and his eyes shut. He felt something.

And it flashed in front of his eyes. An image of Ken -- his hair, his smile, his green eyes -- looking at him coldly, telling him it was over and he'd met someone else. Roy's body wasting away, his hair falling out. His gut churning. His blood growing poisonous. The world fading from his sight and the air in his nostrils growing heavier and dirty. The feeling that everything was going to suddenly end. His relationship. His strength. His life.

Sean saw Roy's face turning gray, and he grabbed the bar off his hands before it slid over to the left and onto Roy's head. Roy rolled to one side as his eyes set back in his head, and he fell face-first onto the gym floor.

*****

Kevin opened his door, and Clancy ran, barking, to see who was walking in.

Ken stepped hesitantly inside, and rubbed his hands together.

"It's colder out there than I thought it would be."

"Come on in, I put a fire on."

"Great...thanks."

Ken circled around the living room and sat on Kevin's couch. He had an awkward smile on his face. Kevin was cordial, offered him something to drink. He declined. Clancy followed him to the couch and sniffed his shoes and his pants.Kevin sat down on the ottoman opposite him.

Both Kevin and Clancy were clearly curious about what had just walked in.

"Thanks for letting me come up, I don't want to take up your time."

"No, it's okay."

"Well, I'll cut to the chase."

"Okay..."

"I...."

Ken knew he had to be blunt.

"...Look, I know I'm not Mr. Popularity around here. I never was. But I hope I can speak to you in confidence, and I freely admit that I am having a problem and, uh...I really need to..."

Kevin didn't fill the awkward silence. He waited.

"...Need to get some advice from, uh....someone who isn't, you know..."

"Roy --?"

"---A drug addict."

"Oh."

"Yeah.."

Kevin waited again. Ken was looking at the floor. He seemed like he couldn't say something.

"Are you a drug addict?" (Kevin)

Ken looked amazed. His head jerked up. He stared for a moment.

"I think I am."

[Posted: December 5, 2005 ] FEEDBACK PERMALINK